I get a lot of dialog about my use of the term “activating events”. Of course, you can’t blame me for it. I wasn’t the first to use it. Albert Ellis, the psychologist, first coined the term to describe those events in our environment that cause us to stress out. But I agree, it does sound a bit academic. But it really doesn’t matter what you call it, the term describes those events outside our control that drive us nuts.
I’m sure you’ve got a lot of examples. The ones that really get me are people who merge onto an interstate where the traffic is going at least 70 (probably more like 80) and they’re merging in at 50, talking on a cellphone and oblivious to the fact that I’m getting pinched between them and a huge 18 wheeler that is as big as the Empire State Building. Or when I always choose the wrong lane at a checkout. You see, I’m in my 50′s now. I don’t have a lot of time left to just stand around in lines. Leave that to the 20 somethings.
Anyway, I could go on and on. You can as well. It’s just important to know it’s not the events that cause our stress. It’s what we think about them that causes the stress. It’s like when you were a kid and someone called you a name. Remember “sticks and stones may break my bones . . .”? Same thing. You choose what you allow to have power over you.
Personally, I don’t like to have people or events to have power over me. I like to be in control of me. Don’t you? Then you need to start becoming aware (ever heard the term “mindful”?) of what has power over you. Do some thinking the next time you feel your heart racing. Come to a conclusion on what is causing it and how you can react differently the next time. Start becoming “mindful” of what these external events are doing to you (the power they have over you) and start to react differently.
You’ll stress out a lot less and you’ll begin to grow as well. Remember when the name-caller as a kid didn’t get to you anymore? That’s what it will feel like!
Stress Less and Live More
Dillon
